journalist

novelist

in the media

references

contact

entertainment

travel

lifestyle

The Mix
(329 words)

Hidden Gems
(1728 words)

November 2003 - InMadrid

If you’re a sexist male and you have a taste for badly choreographed gratuitous violence and jiggling breasts, this is the film for you. If you want to see a film about the club scene in Spain, which is what I thought this little gem was going to bestow, then you’ve flat-out wasted your money. DJ Bull and his crew are the top DJs in Spain, spinning the cheesiest dance mixes this side of anywhere, offering plenty of excuses to show buffed-out bods gyrating to banging hard-house. Mafia boss Larry Killer wants a monopoly on the Spanish clubbing circuit so he sends his matones around to kick everyone’s ass: DJs, promoters and the like, club by club. Could it get any more gripping? The Spanish club scene has been over run by the mafia, and it’s up to DJ Bull and his comrades to save the day.

And the love story? Hunky DJ Bull is at the local record shop when he and the feisty independent DJ Barbie come across the same record and decide over coffee who gets to keep it. “Girls can’t DJ,” says Bull and you can just feel the sexual tension. Are we supposed to think this guy is cool? The climax is a big fight scene in the street between rival club promoters’ security guards, so the audience at least comes away with the moral that if you have the toughest thugs you can promote any club you want.
Deep, eh? And of course, it all ends in a world-class rave, more jiggling breasts and DJ Bull wraps his arms around DJ Barbie as they mutually spin the tracks, as if to say, “You know something? Girls aren’t such bad DJs after all.” The jokes fall flat, the dialogue sounds like something out of a badly written comic book and the fight scenes are too pathetic even to be laughed at. And I wanted to like this film.