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The Mix
(329 words)

Hidden Gems
(1728 words)

April 2005 - InMadrid
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Want to impress your friends with your knowledge of cool hangouts in the city? We twisted Andrew Barsch’s arm until he blew the whistle on all those secret bars that only long-term residents like him know about.

Blowing the lid off a good thing
So I get the email from our beloved editor about writing a feature on the hippest secret bars worth checking out in Madrid. A rundown on where to go and what to look for once you’re in. The oxymoron of the assignment is this: once InMadrid readers get their grubby little paws on the feature, the secret haunts become inundated with pint-swilling, song-singing, loud-mouthed guiris who dig up the underground and take it to the mainstream. Do I want to be guilty of unearthing our sacred nights out by exposing our city’s finest hideaways? Am I that much of a whore to my writing that I would sacrifice my years of knowledge acquired in my adopted home, with my ear to the ground and my finger on the pulse, just to vomit it all up on these pages for a mini-guide in 1,800 words or less?

I discussed the dilemma with edit-boy Simon: we could be contradicting ourselves while intentionally immolating the establishments mentioned. We decided that the best way to go about this was to make a plea to readers, so that they’ll understand what it is that makes these places, these streets, these scenes, something special.

If you want to shout across the bar in English, play drinking games and whistle or party-howl at sexy strangers, there is a plethora of establishments in the capital for doing so. I make no judgments about belligerent, loud-mouthed, obnoxious, jackass behaviour; I’ve indulged in such antics more than a few times. But there is a time and a place for everything. Here then is an insider’s guide to four of the best barrios with hidden gems. Just don’t barge into any of these places waving your InMadrid, announcing your arrival with your fist in the air and a yahoo, and yucking it up with the bar-staff about how great you think their place is. Just check things out, take them in, and decide for yourself where the night takes you. Sometimes secrets are hard to keep.

Chueca
The gay-bourhood. Ever since Almodóvar and the movida crew converted this run-down, working-class neighbourhood into the gay heart of the nation, you have been able to find everything from the most discreetly sophisticated tea houses to the noisiest, most hardcore queen-fests around. And what sets Chueca apart from other gay neighbourhoods like Soho in London or The West Village in New York is la mezcla. In no other urban centre is there such a gay/straight mix, such an acceptance (and therefore disregard for) sexual orientation. In the following places, you won’t see the typically snooty queens who scoff at straight couples who have invaded their safe haven, nor the snickering straight folk who roll their eyes at a pair of boys holding hands. Clubs and bars that evade the straight/gay label are becoming über-common, and bring the freshest styles, scenes and music.

Acuarela. High-camp religious artefact décor adorns the bar, with a wooden statue of San Sebastian— replete with rippled muscles — overseeing the proceedings. But that is where the camp stops and reality sets in. Expect comfy chairs and sofas, a sophisticated, mixed crowd, uncommonly friendly waitstaff, cocktails, coffees, and teas. If you’re quick, you’ll get a seat by the aquarium where the giant windows look out onto the street, letting you watch the world — and the fish — go by. Acuarela, c/Gravina, 10, tel: 91 522 21 43 (Metro: Chueca). Open: Sun-Thurs, 3pm-3am; Fri-Sat, 3pm-4am.

Laan Café. Perhaps a bit on the fashionista, pretentious side, but this is Chueca after all. Clean, minimalist décor, plus coffee, cakes, and beautiful, beautiful people. The unobtrusive music and the fresh juices give this place a modern — but not strictly exclusive — feel. Best in the early evening when everyone’s still looking hot. Laan Café, c/Pelayo, 28, tel: 91 522 68 61 (Metro: Chueca). Open: Mon, 3pm-1.30am; Sun and Tues-Thurs, 10am-1.30am; Fri-Sat, 10am-2.30am.

Malasaña
Malasaña is best known as the barrio roquero. But with the post-modernisation of the rock ’n’ roll rebel by bands like The Strokes and The White Stripes, it’s a barrio that’s undergoing a bit of a renaissance with the in-crowd of late, as scruffy hair, Converse All Stars and jeans have suddenly become hip again. Attracting mostly younger bohemian types, Malasaña is still concentrated enough to provide something for everyone. The best restaurants in the city (namely La Musa, c/Manuela Malasaña, 18, and Ojalá, c/San Andrés, 1) call this area their home, and old favourites like La Vía Lactea (c/Velarde, 18), which has been a barrio mainstay since the first garage-rock explosion, is now the coolest place to be seen in since The Warhol Factory.

La Ida. With a revolutionary, arty sort of feel, this tiny little cañas bar seems to attract a predominantly French crowd. Tasteful (but not pretentious) people fill this place up afternoon and evening, and the view from a window seat is like watching the barrio on a big screen TV. La Ida, c/Colón, 11, tel: 91 522 91 07 (Metro: Tribunal). Open: every day 1pm-2am.

Bar&Co. What it lacks in style and fashion, it more than makes up for in straightforward funk and rock music, and the opening hours simply can’t be beaten. Local bands play weekly, and Bar&Co is the place to go after 3am if you don’t feel like
clubbing. Like every late-night joint in the city, you’ll find a congregation of young, old, drunk and drunker. The bouncer at the door actually smiles and says good evening. Get here while the getting’s good, because once the word is out, gems like these go dull in no time. Bar&Co, c/Barco, 34, no phone (Metro: Gran Vía). Open: Tues-Sun, 8pm-5.30am

Lavapiés
Another one-of-a-kind in Europe. Nowhere else in the great capitals of the union do you have a scene like the one exploding in Lavapiés. Throw African, Asian, South American and Middle Eastern immigrants together with last-generation, working-class castizo Spanish families. Then artists, hipsters, squatters and bohemians move in from all over Europe and America to give the hybrid another spin out. The result is that
some of the most brilliant music, art, food and nightlife around now spill from this cultural tizzy of streets in the old castizo quarter of the capital. Calle Lavapiés is unofficially India-town, with the most authentic shops and restaurants in the city, while c/Esperanza is an enlightened celebration of galleries, with a cultural centre to boot plus a few little places to get your groove on. Who’s to say how long this urban mesh will last before it’s capitalised upon? The area’s bound to go all La Latina any day now.

Taqué. DJs spin funky electronica every night but Monday, the bar’s night off. The clientele as well as the bar have a dark, urban, graffiti-esque feel, and no one’s too clear on the closing time, which probably means there isn’t one. Taqué, c/Lavapies, 11, no phone (Metro: Lavapiés). Open: Mon-Thurs, 9pm-3am; Fri- Sat, 9pm-3.30am (probably); Sun, 5pm-3am.

La Colonia de San Lorenzo. Very Lavapiés. Mix-match bohemian furniture, a bubbly fish-tank and artfully designed bathrooms, with nothing more than a piece of glass separating the male and female stalls. Eccentric little Prince-look-alike owner is often to be seen wearing dresses at the bar. La Colonia de San Lorenzo, c/Salitre, 38, no phone (Metro: Lavapiés). Open: every day, 5pm-2.30am.

Name: Unknown. Multileveled and multifaceted, this place has an upper floor held together by steel cables, and to top it off, it even has a swing. They prefer to be known as a cultural centre, and didn’t want to be included in an article about bars until I explained the premise. People of the arts generally frequent here, and they only want publicity via word of mouth. Should we even be printing this? c/Esperanza, 15-17, no phone (Metro: Lavapiés).

La Latina
Still one of the best areas in town for funky little hideaways, but there are cracks in the surface and the lid is about to come off. With the best concentration of eateries and small bars in Madrid, La Latina is a feel-good barrio, especially on a Sunday. But locals warn about the steadily growing infiltration of “weekenders” who overcrowd their establishments and infiltrate their intimacy, bringing the cops, tourists and the almighty euro with them. It’s quickly becoming one of the least affordable neighbourhoods in the centre, so you can imagine what this is doing to the establishments and their clientele. For now, things are done with very good taste. El Viajero (Pl de la Cebada, 11) is still the best rooftop-diner in the capital, and chic reigns the ancient streets with a liveliness not to be found elsewhere.

Delic. Not exactly hidden, but still a gem nonetheless. Gorgeous wait-staff pour out the best mojitos this side of the Caribbean, and when the weather heats up, the fun spills out onto the plaza. A great place to see and be seen, day or night. Delic, Pl De la Paja, s/n, tel: 91 364 54 50 (Metro: La Latina). Open: Mon-Sat, 11-2am; Sun, 11am-midnight.

Tapa Sentao. Overshadowed by its adjacent neighbour, El Viajero, Tapa Sentao is a Sunday-afternoon-out for anyone to remember. Cheap little cañas that they may even let you take out into the street, great tapas, and a young, fun and friendly crowd — this is post-rastro at its best. Tapa Sentao, c/Almendro, 27, tel: 91 364 07 21 (Metro: La Latina). Open: Mon-Sat, 1.30-4.30pm and 8.30pm-midnight; Sun, 1.30pm-midnight.

Anti Café. More Ópera than La Latina but in the same vein. Anti Café was born from a long trip around America: from Madrid via Valparaiso and New York sprang forth new visions for an establishment where you can have a tea, take a drink or listen to poetry, music, and drama. Live jazz features on Sundays, and unique djs abound. There’s even a wardrobe with original designs for sale, and Anti Café regularly hosts openings for short films, books and magazines; making the experience as varied as the reason for celebrating. Anti Café, c/Unión, 2, tel: 91 559 41 63 (Metro: Ópera). Open: every day 4pm-3am.